Lone Wolf...

Are you happy being alone in your own company?

Do you crave noise and people around you to feel more comfortable and secure?

Or are you the person desperate to avoid the busy parties and noise, seeking stillness and quiet, calm and solitude?

Avoidance of what can be seen as chaos, when to others, it's just excitement and joy.

This is the mindset and perception we see at that moment.

This can also be a response to trauma, so don't hold it as a badge and think that's it, I'm stuck with it. In fact, please don't search for any label to own and wear.

These badges that others offer out to help them understand, well this simply isn't you.

It doesn't define you.

You are you.......Unique and Amazing.

As you were, as you are and as you will be.

So being alone, quiet, and isolated isn't a place of despair and sadness.

It's a place where you can learn more about yourself, a place where you can hear yourself and make progress toward what you want in life.

So, why talk about the wolf?

Because we are so easily relatable to their behaviours and traits.

The wolf is a pack animal as are we, needing to feel part of a community, feeling wanted, loved and welcome. The leader being the quiet one until provoked will sit out the back and observe silently.

The strong will lead the pack as they move on, with the majority following the way, and the less able will tag on behind them. With the pack leader holding the rear, ensuring everyone will get to the next stop. A leader is a team player. Looking out for others.

There will always be a hierarchy challenge to who will lead and be in charge. It's natural. Some will happily be led, others will buck the trend and make it known they are not happy. And yet others will just remain silent and keep out of the way. Do what is necessary and survive.

I can relate to being the one to challenge, standing up for what was right and looking after my pack. But it gets you noticed for all the wrong reasons. Some want it all their way.

So they will collectively gang up on you, make you feel it's your fault and this allows the doubts to creep in. That voice of doubt whispering and then calling to you, most likely when you want to sleep. When all the outside world noise has stopped, thoughts keep popping up in your mind. replaying the words directed at you and spoken to offend. Disturbing your space and agitating anxiety within you.

Maybe I did do something wrong?

Could I have done something different?

If only I'd done this......

The list goes on....

But here's the change of mindset I want you to begin to use and hold onto..........

Being quiet and alone allows you to see and hear the noise and stressed energy for what it really is. It offers you space to sit with it and challenge it ....to seek the alternative positive opposite. Recognising and acknowledging just how much you've been through and that you are still here.

I want you to feel secure in yourself and acknowledge your resilience and strengths.

If you are that lone wolf, give yourself credit.

You've done so much and accomplished things on your own.

Me.....I guess I am at times, exactly that lone wolf.

Not from deliberate choice, but from circumstances and the way things have panned out.

I do find all the noise of large crowds, meetings, and sometimes people's energy all too much.

Maybe it's the influences of all those years under the blue light and dealing with people in their time of need where their energy is heightened and scared.

Unknowingly absorbing this energy into my very core, eventually, showing itself in my body and nervous system after leaving the job, as eczema where my auto-immune responded in trying to deal with all the trauma witnessed, the attack on the senses and stresses of shift work and fast pace tempo on little sleep, fuelled on adrenaline and crap foods.

A recipe that was not going to end well....for me. Something had to change.

Hence I spent years standing in a field flying my birds of prey as an alternative therapy.

Connecting with nature, feeling grounded and at ease.

No one to bounce ideas off or talk to, just be in the moment.

Ok, I am fortunate to have met an incredible lady and my soul mate, where I am able to openly talk about everything and feel heard and not judged. Yet I still need to get out on my own to have my own head space....hence I love cycling. The physical exercise brings me into my body.

I notice the feelings and where in the body. I haven't got anyone telling me what to do or encouraging me. It's me against me.

Nobody is there telling me to get out, in all weathers and ride. Trust me the voice of 'excuses' screams loud in my head. but it's the calm calling of the distant wolf that calls and encourages me to keep going.

Reminding myself of WHY I started my fitness and self-help health journey in the first place. To become a happier and healthier version of me.

And to inspire others to try to.

I don't seek anyone's approval, I do this for myself so I can be in a better place for others when needed.

What I am saying here is ....being on my own is a good thing. I have learned so much from my birds of prey in how patient I truly am. How calm my energy has become and how it affects others.

I have through exercise gone way past levels and distances I could have even imagined, pushing past the restrictive goals and boundaries that I have been told I have to adhere to.

I find an inner determination not to conform. To find another way and achieve goals.

I walk outside the pack, not following the crowd, I am comfortable with my solitude, for in this place I have grown in mental strength and acknowledged my self-worth again. No longer listening to the 'nah' sayers and doubters that voice and howl their opinions, through their lack of ambition. And that's ok, these people are on their own journey and dealing with their issues.

The lone wolf just continues to carry on, doing what is necessary and bringing the pack back together when needed.

Credit to photographer (unknown)

So, please become comfortable with silence, with solitude.

It is in these times animals will come to sit with you. Embracing your calm and pure energy.

If you were to sit in a forest with the ground covered in snow and close your eyes, you would be honoured to find footprints around you. The wolf will be there, silently watching over you.