No longer afraid to try and let go.....

Updated: Jun 21, 2020

Tomorrow here in France, we have a very real chance of restrictions being lifted in our area. The lockdown was completely necessary and heart goes out to so many that have passed away...it really is just horrendous😔. A positive is that Mother nature has flourished in our absence it would seem. So to venture out is very much not to be done out without caution as it's bound to flare up again sadly😔

This extra time given to us, has allowed me to be still and process some of my own stuff. Living the dream has been incredibly challenging. We all are living our own lives and encounter different things so everyone's rucksack has their own troubles to carry or deal with. Being already isolated fortunately from where we live and not being able to help, the guilt of being safe as it were and not actively serving has risen in my mind many times. My instincts and programming have kicked in many times. It's not sat well with me not being active and helping. So to cope with situations we all do what we feel is right for us. I really didn't think I'd awaken my Karate again after so many years of not training. It was too intense and I ached a lot. I'm no longer the young man I was, there is a lot of mileage and stresses been added since starting Karate in 1987. Yet I found a grounded sanctuary within. Being in the moment and with no thought of being looked at and judged has taken some doing. No longer concerned on what others may think.

We are in a world where we quickly judge and label people. This I've sat with a few times.

Even now, I am resisting and questioning do I post this? It's a mind game and glad I did post the videos as I look back and see and feel a difference. Blessed with having the additional time and health I rekindled some of the young me I lived. I posted these not to brag or say hey look at me.....I did it initially as a record to see if there was an improvement....I am self critical and will find faults.......( too many to list 😆). But also I guess to encourage others to stay positive and active throughout this troubling period and beyond. Find something you enjoy and do not hesitate to do it 😉😎

I've been writing this blog post on PTSD and studied a course to help me understand more and have an idea what I have absorbed throughout my career.

I have through writing it down made stuff easier to process.

Mental health is very real and affects so many and all of us differently.

So my aim is to offer my story and insight of my life's viewing so that others may relate and maybe seek to help themselves. Either in their own way or through specialist helpers, but the links to professional therapists can be found on there.

Why the photo of my bike on mountain?


For me it was a mental challenge to cycle up them as I was going through the process of selling my birds of prey as it was just not financially viable here. This for those close to me, will understand what the birds meant to me, as it was my therapy. I needed an outlet.

So turn something bad into something good. It symbolises for me a vast openness of opportunity to go and achieve.

The only things sometimes holding us back is ourselves. As I say to my kids ( which i dearly miss you and love you all ) .....the journey is as steep as you make it. You can sprint straight up, nearly kill yourself or you can walk with commitment and strive to reach the top....or meander and stop and look back and enjoy the view. Or do a bit of all 3🗻 we can all reach the top if we want to. Life is about choices......your choices.

If you've read this far and not fallen asleep then well done 😂👍 Keep safe and look forward to seeing you all soon. To my family and close friends.......massive hugs and love .....but hugs to you all

I'm in a good place and feeling blessed with life's simplicity's👍😎.....

......just a big softy really with a compassionate heart. Abientot